Social Emotional Development - 9 Year Olds
“Children are not things to be molded but are people to be unfolded.” — Jess Lair
With middle childhood on its way, social emotional development gets a little more nuanced. Nine is an age of increasing self-definition and greater understanding of the world around them. Let’s take a look at what to expect:
Strengthening sense of identity - might be trying new style, haircuts, decor, etc
Growing peer importance - emerging cliques, peer conflict, and complex relationships
Also, this age tends to be more competitive and comparing themselves in social dynamics
Becoming more critical of self and others
Understanding social cues and unspoken norms in various settings
Challenging the adult world and understanding how the world works - questioning, arguing, wondering, doubting
Increasing awareness into global issues - e.g. climate change, poverty, injustice
With this in mind, how do us adults foster healthy development at this age?
Helping children identify and cope with complex emotions, particularly frustration, in appropriate and adaptable ways - grounding skills, calming tools, breathing techniques
Modeling and reinforcing positive and prosocial behavior
Teaching empathy and recognizing how others might be feeling or impacted by their behavior
Engaging in thoughtful dialogue and meaningful conversations - asking questions, showing genuine interest, exploring big ideas
Practicing conflict resolution skills, asserting boundaries, negotiating skills
Providing opportunity for peer interactions - playdates, summer camps, organized sports
Increasing ability to make decisions for themselves, have more responsibility, and autonomy - e.g. managing homework or schoolwork, taking out the trash, preparing snacks, managing allowance or budgeting for small purchases
Maintaining consistent expectations and boundaries to foster stability and security
If you have any questions, please feel encouraged to reach out christina@christinakingfamilytherapy.com.
Yours In Service,
Christina King, LMFT 145704
Citations and Resources:
Wood, Chip. 2017. Yardsticks: Child and Adolescent Development 4-14 (4th ed). Center for Responsive Schools.
(2023, October 24). Milestones for 9 Year Olds. Health and Wellness, Kaiser Permanente. https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health-wellness/health-encyclopedia/he.milestones-for-9-year-olds.ue5721#:~:text=Recognize%20basic%20social%20norms%20and,will%20admit%20to%20this%20interest.