Social Emotional Development - 10 Year Olds
“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” —Angela Schwindt
We made it to the double digits, 10 years old. These feisty fifth graders are the big men (and women) on campus. Puberty has begun, at least for some, and your little kid might be acting a bit more like a tween. At the cusp of adolescence we can expect to start seeing some physical changes, but some social-emotional growth as well. Let’s take a look:
Friendships becoming more important and complex
Cliques and shifting social circles are not uncommon and can positively and negatively affect self-esteem
More focus on social acceptance, being “cool,” or interested in the “right” shows/music/movies
Emerging romantic interests
Increasing stress due to greater academic rigor, complex friend dynamics, brain and body changes
Changing brains and bodies can lead to moodiness or anger
Thinking more abstractly
Here’s some strategies to help foster healthy social-emotional development in tweens:
Talking about puberty - prepare them for changes, answer questions, connect them with resources for independent learning
Modeling healthy coping strategies to process complex emotions (e.g. box breathing, meditation, grounding)
Discussing healthy friendships, navigating differences, and conflict
Keep an eye out for mean or exclusionary behavior - either perpetrator or victim
Involving your child in sports, clubs, and opportunities to make friends in and outside of school
Listening more than you talk to your kid
Setting clear expectations
Creating mutual agreements for increasing responsibility and freedom
Encouraging leadership roles or engagement in school-wide initiatives or community work
Appreciating and rewarding effort over outcome
Allowing for age appropriate privacy and autonomy
Talking about healthy and safe tech use (read more here)
If you have any questions, please feel encouraged to reach out christina@christinakingfamilytherapy.com.
Yours In Service,
Christina King, LMFT 145704
Citations and Resources:
Wood, Chip. 2017. Yardsticks: Child and Adolescent Development 4-14 (4th ed). Center for Responsive Schools.
(2024, July 23). 10-Year-Old Child Development Milestones. Parents. https://www.parents.com/10-year-old-developmental-milestones-620710#:~:text=identity%20and%20sexuality.-,Stress,physical%20transitions%20of%20growing%20up.